If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just made my gag reflex go away.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize