and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
