1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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