I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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