i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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