I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
