dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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