Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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