HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
