Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
