no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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