The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
