i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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