Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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