she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
