Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
