May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
