I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
