I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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