Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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