We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
