hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
