Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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