Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
