I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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