I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
