Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
