She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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