think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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