We won't sleep together?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
