What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
