He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I am naked and annoyed.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
