Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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