How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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