I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
