just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
