I think I died a long time ago.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
