yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
