Your tits are I can't wait for
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
