you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Are we still banned from the library?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
