I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
