The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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