So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
