How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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