If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
