i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
