its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
