its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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