i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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