Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
