shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
