what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I touched a dick in church today
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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