i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
