You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
