I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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