Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
