I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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