R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Randomize