you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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