I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
