At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
