wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
