id be glad to
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
