ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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