Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
