Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
